The other night's exhibition of crazy political ideals prompted some discussion from a friend intrigued by my Ron Paulian Libertarian Fantasyland. He was particularly perturbed by the idea of things like roads and schools not being paid for with taxpayer moneys, and wondered what I thought about them. I must confess that the school angle had simply not occurred to me before, so after a little thinking I went with the standard Libertarian answer (private companies). Like all Libertarians, I became smug after giving an answer of such sufficient convincingness.
"But what about poor families? How will they pay the tuition at these privately run schools?" he countered.
Once again, the idea of people unable to pay for school had simply not occurred to me. I briefly felt my world-view beginning to crumble, but then, mercifully, sudden inspiration struck.
"We put webcams in the gymnasium and charge pedophiles money to watch all the kids chasing bouncy-balls around and climbing ropes in those skimpy shorts. This will bring in TONS of money, effectively making tuition null and void."
See, with a little creative thinking, Libertarianism can solve ANY problem. We don't need the government to solve all our problems (badly) when we have millions of citizens willing to MAKE money off all the problems.
The author lives in Vancouver, Washington, USA with his girlfriend and a menagerie of cats, rats, fish, birds, guinea pigs and robots.
Among other inanities, he strives to use investigative techniques to work young starlet breasts into every aspect of rational discourse -- focusing on the discourse, thus making it not perverted. Also, has recently begun a career as "Internet hairstylist."
He can be contacted via email and Jabber IM at 'email@example.com'. He likes to be contacted.
(All press inquiries, however, ought be directed towards the author's agent, Alistair Hoel, via email to firstname.lastname@example.org.)