I came up with this a few days ago and sprung it upon twitter. Benjamin seemed as excited by the prospect as I, so I figured I'd do what I could to make it a reality. Benjamin makes me happy pretty much every day, so now it's my turn to try and give something back to him.
Without further ado; Benjamin, this one's for you:
The author lives in Vancouver, Washington, USA with his girlfriend and a menagerie of cats, rats, fish, birds, guinea pigs and robots.
Among other inanities, he strives to use investigative techniques to work young starlet breasts into every aspect of rational discourse -- focusing on the discourse, thus making it not perverted. Also, has recently begun a career as "Internet hairstylist."
He can be contacted via email and Jabber IM at 'email@example.com'. He likes to be contacted.
(All press inquiries, however, ought be directed towards the author's agent, Alistair Hoel, via email to firstname.lastname@example.org.)