Remember back in January when I 'fixed' the cover of INXS's 'Kick' album cover? Well, since then, people have been sending me feedback suggesting how I could have improved it further. Including, unbeknownst to me at the time, the actual album cover's creator, Nick Egan. (His suggestion for improving it was not to have modified it at all, naturally.) Today, however, I got another email followed by what is quite possibly the best suggestion of them all via voicemail. I share them with you now:

Subject: YOU'RE A PRIZE GINGER CUNT, DUDE. Who or what are you? Opinions are a universal rite. What you did deserves your balls kicking into your kidneys. ' I fixed it ' ? The most arrogant piece of shit I've ever read online in 16 years. Next time I'm over I'll come for a chat about poetry and music so I don't miss out on your wisdom. Saying shit like that with your phone number and address attached would get you bounced from here to FUCKING Spain where I'm from ... Dude. Don't get a life, give it up. Waste of food you cheeky prick. Hope you fail in everything you do. You FUCKING Ginger Minge Tit .

Normal link for when the embed doesn't work. Could somebody translate that for me? As an American, I can only pick out a few words... What I did get out of it, however, is that I should keep my opinions to myself, rather than put them out on the Internet where people can plainly see that I was trying to be an idiot, as I do regularly. (Like all the times I solved global warming, the time I solved the inherent eruption of Mt. St. Helens, all the times I solved the fuel crisis, etc.) It's kind of scary getting a (surprisingly polite) threatening voicemail message, but that scariness doesn't outweigh the irony of someone actually calling me to share his opinion regarding my not sharing my opinion. Nick, it appears that my attempt to sound like a dumbass on the Internet has succeeded far better than I'd intended, which I truly regret. I really do hate that skateboard at the top, but that's just my opinion. 'Fixing' your album cover is purely in jest, however, and clearly falls under fair use / parody. As I think it's pretty clear by now that I'm just a dumbass and not intentionally trying to disrespect your or your work, I'd really appreciate it if you'd call off your goons. Thanks.