The woman who found a finger in her Wendy's chili was arrested thursday and charged with attempted larceny involving the finger incident. It is still unknown where she got the finger from, but her failed attempt at a fraudulent lawsuit cost Wendy's $2.5 million in the Bay area alone due to lost sales.
Fake story ending:
Adding to the costs, Kentucky Fried Chicken has filed a lawsuit alleging that Wendy's "Finger in the Chili" news stories were really part of a viral ad campaign attempting to violate KFC's "Finger Lickin' Good" trademark without fear of legal repercussion.
Alternate fake story ending:
It is assumed the woman wasn't acting alone, she probably had several accomplices. Neither Ronald McDonald, Carl Jr, Col. Sanders, the Burger King, nor the Dairy Queen could be reached for comment.
The author lives in Vancouver, Washington, USA with his girlfriend and a menagerie of cats, rats, fish, birds, guinea pigs and robots.
Among other inanities, he strives to use investigative techniques to work young starlet breasts into every aspect of rational discourse -- focusing on the discourse, thus making it not perverted. Also, has recently begun a career as "Internet hairstylist."
He can be contacted via email and Jabber IM at 'email@example.com'. He likes to be contacted.
(All press inquiries, however, ought be directed towards the author's agent, Alistair Hoel, via email to firstname.lastname@example.org.)