Have you ever noticed just how much alike “monogamous sex” and “anonymous sex” sound?

In light of this fact, I think that certain people ought to have been just a bit more understanding when it became obvious that what I thought I agreed to wasn’t what I actually agreed to.

I mean, it’s a really easy mistake to make, right?

As promised, I was just about to write a review recommending simplyaudiobooks.com for all your non-encrypted audiobook rental needs. Aside from the incredibly slow turnaround time on rentals (I had 3 shipments in the month of December, amounting to one and a half books and am looking at about the same this month, despite the fact that I rip them and return them the same day) I’ve been pretty happy with them.

Unfortunately, I just received my third “you really should pay us more money and upgrade your account, because only losers pay for the cheap plan. What’s another $10 a month, anyway??” email in under a month.

I am no longer able make such a recommendation, and am now obligated to find a different mail-order audiobook rental service. (Boy am I glad I didn’t pay for a whole year in advance.) I’ll post another update regarding my next audiobook provider after I find one.

Why companies would think that badgering their customers is a good idea is beyond me, as it’s the best sure-fire way to ensure that I stop being one.

A while back, some random person on flickr created an account just so’s he could contact me. He said he enjoyed looking at my pictures, and wondered if I had a large copy of the usericon I use to identify myself there. (Those reading via livejournal are very familiar with said icon, but for those who aren’t I’ve included it over there on the right.)

His name is Curtis, and he told me that he really liked that particular picture and asked if it would be OK if he drew it. He said he was just getting into drawing and would like to hone his chops on me.

Boy would it! How could I pass up the opportunity to have a random internet person draw a picture of me?!

I immediately began scrounging around for the large version of that particular picture, but it seems that I lost it somewhere in the many harddrive failures over the years. I did the next best thing, though, by sending him some recent pictures and a few pictures from around that point in time. Oh, and some naked ones, just so he can get a feel for “me.” (Curtis, call me!)

Some time passed and I got email from him, saying that he had started working on the picture. Over the next few weeks, Curtis would spend a little time here and there working on it, sending me snapshots of it so that I could see the progress. When it was finished, I asked if it would be OK to post his drawing here on my site where other random internet people can appreciate it. He said no, so I just pretended that GMail lost that particular message.

Here it is:

I think it came out really great. It is immediately obvious to me that it’s supposed to be me. It’s like looking into a mirror.

Curtis doesn’t yet have a website or anything, but I’ve been trying to badger him into setting one up because I would love to follow his progress. In addition to being very good at drawing — despite having only a handful of portraits under his belt — he’s also a talented photographer, has awesome facial hair (we exchanged many mails regarding handlebar moustaches and moustache wax recipes), looks like a soccer hooligan with his new chrome-dome ‘do, and smokes a bad-ass pipe.

If you feel like helping my efforts to badger him into creating some sort of online presence, he might be checking in on the comments at some point.

In case the name “Mike Judge” and the words “from the director of Office Space“ aren’t enough to get you to rent Idiocracy, perhaps this still will help convince you:

Click to embiggen.

This movie is fantastic, frightening, and freakin’ hilarious.

Did I mention frightening? Don’t expect high-brow, but do expect ripping on consumer/corporate-driven culture. Warning: Might make you feel guilty for your decision not to breed. (Or proud that you decided to breed.)

Do you remember the self-help book I put out a few years back? Well it’s in a brand new printing, so I figure it’s time to plug it again.

Do you ever wish you could spend your day frolicking about without ever worrying about a thing? Do you wish sex was less relationship-driven and more of a recreational activity? Do you wish you could do a double back flip, and kill sharks with only your nose?

This best-selling motivational book has helped millions lead the fulfilling lives they always wished they could, and now with the new chapter on whistle-based communication, you can do all that and help get ideas across to others in a more efficient manner.