Aw heck, while I am yammering about why exactly you should consider not using T-Mobile, I’ll go ahead and report on my last hassle too.

So the Sidekick2 is juuuust about to come out, and T-Mobile extends a “special offer” to Sidekick1 users that will allow them to have a Sidekick2 before the release date through a trade-in program. All you have to do is call a special phone number. A number that only one smiling Hindu is manning. After a day or so of failed attempts at calling the number, I start seeing on the big sidekick user forum that a few people start getting through, and were expecting their phones shortly. Then there’s some sort of glitch, and EVERY SINGLE person who got their order placed on the first day suddenly doesn’t exist in the system. Fast-forward a few days and now the people who got through on day 3 have their phones in their hands. All the day 1 people are told they will just have to wait. Fortunately this didn’t affect me, this is just background.

So anyway, I finally get my Sidekick2, and lo and behold, the keyboard doesn’t light up. All the documentation says it’s supposed to, as the Sidekick1 keys do. People on forums start posting pictures of theirs lighting up, or not lighting up. Suddenly it is apparent that at least 90% of the specially chosen early adopters actually have defective units. So I call to get a replacement for my $200 purchase on the same day and am told I will only be able to get a refurbished unit, and there are none of those available yet. I cannot simply go to a T-Mobile store, I am told. “Because we are fucking retarded,” is the best answer I can get out of anyone when I ask why. This is of course me paraphrasing the actual answer. So I wait a week and a half, and finally get my replacement. Can you guess whether the keyboard lights up?

At this point, I decide to skip the waiting on hold and navigating through bullshit menus and try out the online customer service that the high-tech phone automaton is always suggesting I try. Within minutes I get a response outlining how sorry everyone is and how they are overnighting a phone immediately. Two days pass, no phone. So I email again and am told that I’m going to have to actually call. So I call and talk to a nice operator who tells me that I was not actually supposed to get a replacement, as the keys aren’t supposed to light up, so I can just fuck right off. Paraphrasing again. After much haggling and bitching, I succeed in actually speaking to a manger — this is extremely difficult to do with T-Mobile, I’ve tried on many occasions. She tells me flat out that the device is not defective, the keys are not supposed to light up, and I won’t be getting another replacement. I call her a fucking liar and show her where she can find pictures of it lighting up, and explain that the problem is caused by faulty paint (as I read of people scratching the keys and finding that there is a light underneath, etc.) to the point where she realizes that she can’t try to pull the wool over my eyes and agrees to send me another one. “But it won’t light up, you understand. I’m just trying to get you off the phone a happy customer,” she says.

The very next day I get a shiny new refurb Sidekick2. I plug in the power cord, give the screen a flip and witness the majesty of a keyboard that — wait for it — lights up brilliantly.

To be fair, I do have to report that I know a person who had a good T-Mobile experience once (Hi Christian!). After dropping his phone in the drink — note: this is not actually a clever metaphorical way of describing a body of water, it was literally his drink — they replaced it for him. T-Mobile has great customer service four years ago!

UPDATE: So I guess they didn’t replace it for him that time, my bad.

Defined tags for this entry: bad business, rants, T-Mobile