Every year during the week after Halloween, Target stores gradually increase the markdown on whatever Halloween stuff people don't purchase at full price before the holiday.
This year I managed to hold out several days until the 75% increment for several things that I've wanted to own for a very long time, but was unable to justify until now. Ordinarily, I don't condone purchasing costumes, but I just couldn't pass up this once in a lifetime opportunity to get all this amazing stuff for $16.
I now present you with my two new costumes:
Freddy as Batman
and Batman as Freddy
Also, it is now apparent to me that trying to squeeze into a much too small batman costume does bizarre things to one's genitalia:
I'm reasonably familiar with both the size and shape of my naughty bits, but I have absolutely no idea what's going on there. Neither size nor shape are accurately represented, probably due in part to the fact that I was wearing fairly unrestrictive underwear which was causing peculiar bunching. Also, that suit was amazingly difficult to cram into. (It was a child's Large, and I'm more easily described as a small adult.)
I am never going to share these pictures, for if they ever got out on the internet, boy would I be embarassed. So no matter how much you beg, you can't have 'em. Sorry, I gotta look out for myself here.
The author lives in Vancouver, Washington, USA with his girlfriend and a menagerie of cats, rats, fish, birds, guinea pigs and robots.
Among other inanities, he strives to use investigative techniques to work young starlet breasts into every aspect of rational discourse -- focusing on the discourse, thus making it not perverted. Also, has recently begun a career as "Internet hairstylist."
He can be contacted via email and Jabber IM at 'email@example.com'. He likes to be contacted.
(All press inquiries, however, ought be directed towards the author's agent, Alistair Hoel, via email to firstname.lastname@example.org.)