I had a brainstorm the other day while thinking about creating my fake person and decided to try it out, only to be thwarted by American Express's's anti-fraud measures. See, my idea was to use the "get an additional card for a friend or family member!!!1" feature they're always waving at me upon logging into my account, figuring I would just request a card for my "friend" Alistair Hoel, and they'd send it out to me. I figured wrong; it seems you have to input a social security number even for people who aren't technically responsible for the account. How do they expect people to create fictitious people*??
I do really wish I had thought up Alistair a few months ago because he seems like he might have political aspirations. At the very least, he'd look great on the campaign signs. After all, if you have to put an a-hole in office, it may as well be A. Hoel.
*: ever hear the urban leged about people getting draft notices in the mail addressed to the fake children they signed up for Baskin Robbin's free birthday icecream cones 18 years prior? I'd try that out, but I don't really want to wait 18 years.
The author lives in Vancouver, Washington, USA with his girlfriend and a menagerie of cats, rats, fish, birds, guinea pigs and robots.
Among other inanities, he strives to use investigative techniques to work young starlet breasts into every aspect of rational discourse -- focusing on the discourse, thus making it not perverted. Also, has recently begun a career as "Internet hairstylist."
He can be contacted via email and Jabber IM at 'email@example.com'. He likes to be contacted.
(All press inquiries, however, ought be directed towards the author's agent, Alistair Hoel, via email to firstname.lastname@example.org.)