For about 3 days in my youth, I dedicated every ounce myself to the discipline of ventriloquism. I started learning the consonant tricks required to successfully hold a conversation without moving my lips, but soon lost interest in the art and promptly forgot most everything I learned.

Today I thought of a reason to take up where I left off so many years ago. See, my dentist — like all dentists — seems to take a perverse pleasure in asking questions that I can’t possibly answer with all that shit in my mouth. If I am successful in maintaining the necessary practice regimine, the next tim I see him I’ll knock his socks off with fully articulated replies to each of his queries.

Well, assuming he sticks to bad wood-related knock-knock jokes.. that’s all I ever learned.

Defined tags for this entry: dentistry, rants, ventriloquism