One of my favorite guilty pleasures over the last 10 years has been the occasional consumption of Arby's Chicken Bacon Swiss sandwiches. I don't partake of them often, because they're freakin' expensive (and really bad for me), but I really enjoy them. Today I decided to hit up Arby's and grab one, on account of how I haven't had one in over a year.
So I'm at the drive-thru, just finishing up my order when I begin to worry. Through the crackle and hiss of the drive-thru speaker, I hear the question that will change my life forever:
"Do you want that crispy or grilled?"
"Wait, what?" I inquire. "I don't follow you."
"You can have the chicken on that either fried or grilled. Which do you want?"
Upon thinking about it a little bit, I have absolutely no idea how they used to do them, but I decide on grilled. As I pull up to the window I see a big banner proclaiming how the chicken they serve is all 100% natural, grain fed, each feather lovingly removed by an aging Hippie.
Let me tell you, the new "improved" Chicken Bacon Swiss 100% sucks. The meat was as dull in flavor as it was in color and texture, and I doubt getting the "crispy" variation would improve matters much.
I guess that's one less thing I have to feel guilty about.
The author lives in Vancouver, Washington, USA with his girlfriend and a menagerie of cats, rats, fish, birds, guinea pigs and robots.
Among other inanities, he strives to use investigative techniques to work young starlet breasts into every aspect of rational discourse -- focusing on the discourse, thus making it not perverted. Also, has recently begun a career as "Internet hairstylist."
He can be contacted via email and Jabber IM at 'firstname.lastname@example.org'. He likes to be contacted.
(All press inquiries, however, ought be directed towards the author's agent, Alistair Hoel, via email to email@example.com.)