We've been house shopping, which really sucks ass.
Not even once has a matronly little old lady shown us around and said anything like the following:
"Now dearies, you understand that the contents of this closet will have to stay with the house. See, my oldest -- Johnnie -- was shot down and killed in WWII, and I just can't bring myself to even look at his comic book and baseball card collections, let alone throw them out. Even if I was emotionally able to do it, there's hundreds of big heavy boxes full, and my back just isn't what it used to be. This time of year especially, my rheumatis acts up frightfully. I'm afraid you'll have to send them off to the recyclers yourself. I hope you don't mind."
The author lives in Vancouver, Washington, USA with his girlfriend and a menagerie of cats, rats, fish, birds, guinea pigs and robots.
Among other inanities, he strives to use investigative techniques to work young starlet breasts into every aspect of rational discourse -- focusing on the discourse, thus making it not perverted. Also, has recently begun a career as "Internet hairstylist."
He can be contacted via email and Jabber IM at 'firstname.lastname@example.org'. He likes to be contacted.
(All press inquiries, however, ought be directed towards the author's agent, Alistair Hoel, via email to email@example.com.)