I want a pet skunk.
Washington State feels that this is somehow unsafe, so I am prevented from doing this.
I brought this up the other day with coworkers, and had to explain how skunks get de-scented and actually make greal loving cat-like pets, just way cooler because no one has them as pets. They also have an amusing behavior where if for some reason they get pissed off at you, like if you forbid them from sleeping on the furniture or hanging out with that paint drizzled neighbor cat or something, they will turn around and try to spray you, just firing blanks.
This prompted a brilliant idea from Travis: install air-freshener reservoirs into the skunk, so if they get pissed off they just make the place smell better.
“Are you baking cookies?”
“No. I yelled at the skunk for clawing on the carpet again, and pssshft: Fresh Baked Cookiestm.