Yesterday was quite possibly the worst day of my life.
It started like any other, with me rolling out of bed at 5:15 and jumping in the shower. About midway through the shower I suddenly felt like I was going to throw up, which actually happens fairly frequently. I have a weak stomach and mornings suck. Some days the simple act of brushing my teeth causes the dry heaves. In any case, this time was different... not only did I feel like vomiting while showering, I actually vomited too. Multiple times.
I decided I better call in sick, at least for a couple hours to see if it would pass or get worse. It got worse.
I spent the whole day alternating between feeling like I was going to throw up and actually throwing up. (I was just about to type "I'm not sure which was worse," but then I remembered that the throwing up was far, far worse. How anyone can do it on purpose is completely beyond me. Those people have a much, much greater committment to Sparkle Motion than I.)
Late in the evening I took one of the anti-nausea suppositories that D had left over from her knee surgery (boy THOSE things are hard to swallow...) and that seemed to temper the pukey feeling enough to let me choke down 5 saltines and some ginger ale so that the aspirin I wanted to take to knock down my severe fever wouldnt burn a hole in my stomach.
So that was my day. Total food intake: 5 saltines and some ginger ale. Total food output: the previous night's dinner from Hawaiian Charbroil and all liquids I tried to consume before the anti-nausea medication.
I would have taken it sooner, but it had the classic warning of "may cause ", and I couldn't face the idea that it might get worse.
The author lives in Vancouver, Washington, USA with his girlfriend and a menagerie of cats, rats, fish, birds, guinea pigs and robots.
Among other inanities, he strives to use investigative techniques to work young starlet breasts into every aspect of rational discourse -- focusing on the discourse, thus making it not perverted. Also, has recently begun a career as "Internet hairstylist."
He can be contacted via email and Jabber IM at 'firstname.lastname@example.org'. He likes to be contacted.
(All press inquiries, however, ought be directed towards the author's agent, Alistair Hoel, via email to email@example.com.)