Today I remembered an amusing story from my childhood, so I figured I'd share it here.
When I was 7 or 8 I recall visiting my grandmother, where I would watch The Edison Twins on the Disney Channel whenever possible. (We had recently canceled our subscription to the Disney Channel, and I missed The Edison Twins severely.)
One time mid-episode, my mother and grandmother came in, switched off the tv, and sat me down for an important talk. This was a bit unnerving, but I wasn't too perturbed because I knew how this particular episode ended, but I sure was wierded out.
It turns out my grandmother had convinced my mom that it was time to tell me about the dangers of The Pot. I learned that people would be offering The Pot to me, and that I should say no when they did, no matter how cool they made it sound.
I recall being pretty spechless, other than asking just what it was that people expected me to do with The Pot when it was offered, and was it anything like the teapot grandma used.
"Oh. Well, no... It's green and you'd smoke it," was the answer I eventually got after much meaning-conveying glancing between my mother and her mother.
I recall wondering just why in the heck I'd want to do that, already having learned that Smoking Is Bad. I don't know why smoking a different substance would suddenly be OK, but I guess that hadn't occurred to them. Maybe they just weren't as tight with Smokey the Bear and Hootsie the Owl as I was, and didn't know what I had already been convinced of through simple logic; smoking causes forest fires and pollution, two things I'd never want to do. I can't imagine how anti-smoking I'd have been if McGruff the Crime Dog had gotten in on the action as well.
In case you're wondering, I was eventually offered The Pot, but not until I was in my early twenties.
The author lives in Vancouver, Washington, USA with his girlfriend and a menagerie of cats, rats, fish, birds, guinea pigs and robots.
Among other inanities, he strives to use investigative techniques to work young starlet breasts into every aspect of rational discourse -- focusing on the discourse, thus making it not perverted. Also, has recently begun a career as "Internet hairstylist."
He can be contacted via email and Jabber IM at 'firstname.lastname@example.org'. He likes to be contacted.
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