Some of my more notable past inventions include the snappy-bracelet-wristwatch, shoes that you can "pump up," toy lightsabers1 that retract fully into the handles and spring out, the Internet2 (damn you Al Gore!), and many others that I can't recall now.
The one that made me think of this today is the heating-element-blender, which would allow you to blend and cook all in one step. Soup couldn't possibly get any easier. Anyway, I was describing this invention when someone piped in that they had seen that very thing being demonstrated at Costco last weekend. I have no idea how someone managed to produce my product in the 2 minutes it took to describe it to someone, but I suspect it has something to do with the time machine I'm currently inventing.
1: This was in fact before I knew the word "lightsaber." I didn't see Star Wars until 1989 or so, but invented toy swords that were just handles until which time as you push a button and the blade telescopes out at some point way prior to that. I do recall seeing toy lightabers back then, but they were just flashlights with long detachable colored tubes. Lame.
2: I just threw this one in to make an Al Gore joke, in complete disregard of the fact that Al Gore really was instrumental in the creation of the Internet.
The author lives in Vancouver, Washington, USA with his girlfriend and a menagerie of cats, rats, fish, birds, guinea pigs and robots.
Among other inanities, he strives to use investigative techniques to work young starlet breasts into every aspect of rational discourse -- focusing on the discourse, thus making it not perverted. Also, has recently begun a career as "Internet hairstylist."
He can be contacted via email and Jabber IM at 'firstname.lastname@example.org'. He likes to be contacted.
(All press inquiries, however, ought be directed towards the author's agent, Alistair Hoel, via email to email@example.com.)