I haven't mentioned my struggles with substance abuse for some time, because really, who wants to hear a bunch of whining about how "I have a DISEASE"? (I'm guessing not you.)
To sum up things up, I haven't consumed a Vault soda since Christmas. I haven't even thought about it, really. I'd say I'm well on my way to recovery, and it's really no big deal.
However, on my way home from the gym this morning, I stopped off at Carl's Jr. to feed my newest addiction: The Carl's Jr. Breakfast Burger. If you haven't seen this monstrosity, it's a 1/4lb burger with eggs, bacon, hashbrowns and cheese on it. In short; it's the most calorie-laden breakfast sandwich on the market, topping out McDonald's once-champion McGriddle by a considerable margin. It is also the most delicious thing in the world.
Anywho, I rolled into the drive-thru as I've been doing every Friday morning for the last month or so, and found that they've added a new addition to the array of enticing-looking advertisements: a large glossy sign proclaiming that any breakfast combo would (for a limited time, natch) come with a free 12oz. can of Vault, complete with glistening beads of condensation lovingly tracing its curves.
I know what you're thinking: I fell off the wagon.
You're right, but hey, cut me some slack. I have a disease after all....
The author lives in Vancouver, Washington, USA with his girlfriend and a menagerie of cats, rats, fish, birds, guinea pigs and robots.
Among other inanities, he strives to use investigative techniques to work young starlet breasts into every aspect of rational discourse -- focusing on the discourse, thus making it not perverted. Also, has recently begun a career as "Internet hairstylist."
He can be contacted via email and Jabber IM at 'firstname.lastname@example.org'. He likes to be contacted.
(All press inquiries, however, ought be directed towards the author's agent, Alistair Hoel, via email to email@example.com.)