I'm really upset at the state of our government, our society, and our citizens in general. People just can't seem to get along, meaning we get more stupid laws, which in turn cause more stupid problems.
After much thought on the subject, I've decided to take a page out of Alan Moore's playbook and do something about it. What would Alan Moore do? He'd create a supervillain who causes enough senseless loss of life to restore us to that "Sept. 12th" level of empathy, and then push us further, making us truly understand how our actions affect one another. Everyone won't be able to not love one another and treat eachother fairly, thus creating the perfect utopian dream we should all strive for.
With that in mind, I've formulated a plan to amass the country's honey bees and make them do my bidding. Soon the "epi pen" manufacturers will no longer be able to keep up with demand, meaning millions (billions??) will die at the sudden onslaught of bee attacks by this nefarious genius. (That's me.)
America (the world??) will once again unite under the banner of "we can't afford to fight amongst ourselves... let's join forces," working together to systematically eradicate the bees. They'll then realize that once all the bees are dead, we won't be able to grow much food. This will cause everyone to have to work together creating new innovative ways of pollinating crops (genetically-modified dragonflies??) in order to survive. This will of course come with its own set of problems (no "epi pen" for dragonfly venom??), requiring yet more cooperation, making the world even better.
As you can see, my plan is very well thought-out -- and, might I say, flawless. I'll finally be able to make a difference once and for all.
The author lives in Vancouver, Washington, USA with his girlfriend and a menagerie of cats, rats, fish, birds, guinea pigs and robots.
Among other inanities, he strives to use investigative techniques to work young starlet breasts into every aspect of rational discourse -- focusing on the discourse, thus making it not perverted. Also, has recently begun a career as "Internet hairstylist."
He can be contacted via email and Jabber IM at 'firstname.lastname@example.org'. He likes to be contacted.
(All press inquiries, however, ought be directed towards the author's agent, Alistair Hoel, via email to email@example.com.)