Friday, January 12. 2007

Stolen Inventions

Like Gary, I too frequently invent awesome things, only to discover later that someone has beaten me to the punch.

Some of my more notable past inventions include the snappy-bracelet-wristwatch, shoes that you can “pump up,” toy lightsabers1 that retract fully into the handles and spring out, the Internet2 (damn you Al Gore!), and many others that I can’t recall now.

The one that made me think of this today is the heating-element-blender, which would allow you to blend and cook all in one step. Soup couldn’t possibly get any easier. Anyway, I was describing this invention when someone piped in that they had seen that very thing being demonstrated at Costco last weekend. I have no idea how someone managed to produce my product in the 2 minutes it took to describe it to someone, but I suspect it has something to do with the time machine I’m currently inventing.


1: This was in fact before I knew the word “lightsaber.” I didn’t see Star Wars until 1989 or so, but invented toy swords that were just handles until which time as you push a button and the blade telescopes out at some point way prior to that. I do recall seeing toy lightabers back then, but they were just flashlights with long detachable colored tubes. Lame.

2: I just threw this one in to make an Al Gore joke, in complete disregard of the fact that Al Gore really was instrumental in the creation of the Internet.

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Posted by jer@nyquil.org at 17:41



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2007-01-12 21:35
aerospace said:

i’ve decided to add your feed to my friends list. AND i have a comment to add!

i invented all sorts of stuff when i was little, too. unfortunately, i was ripped off, and i was creating things BEFORE someone else made money off it.

my most notable idea was putting a tv in the backseat of a car. by the age of 8, i had spent several weeks’ worth of time in the backseat of a car on 21-hour drives back and forth between pennsylvania and florida, and even at that young age i recognized how much faster time seems to pass when there’s a tv to watch. it’s nearly impossible to drive through traffic nowadays without seeing some spoiled 2 year old watching a tv in the back of mommy or daddy’s headrest. jerks.

i am convinced i still have drawings of my concept at my parents’ house. it’d be great to find them and scan them someday.

#1 (Reply)
2007-01-13 05:19
jer said:
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wow, that’s a good one! You’d have been really rich, even just with all the Pimp My Ride! money.

#2 (Reply)
2007-01-16 18:41
rjpasc said:
*

Ditto for having ideas ‘stolen’. I remember two ideas I had while working as a bagger at a grocery store.

The first was a robot to mop the floors. My idea was similar to what the roomba people have put out to market only I envisioned it looking a little different.

The other had to do with using small LCD screens on the shelves in the store to display prices. They would have the ability to be updated wirelessly making the price changing process that much easier.

I remember seeing somewhere that they had prototypes being used in stores of this very same idea.

That makes me a sad panda.

#3 (Reply)
2009-02-22 10:23
G. Archer said:
*

so many thing that I’ve thought of have come to light, 1year, 10year, even when I was a small child, inventions have pasted right though my thoughts and into someone else’s manufacturing company. I need a good time machine so I can stay ahead of these guys…..

#4 (Reply)

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About the Author

Jer Warren

Mobile-addicted. Web-dependent. Android developer. Nerd.

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The author lives in Vancouver, Washington, USA with his girlfriend and a menagerie of cats, rats, fish, birds, guinea pigs and robots.

Among other inanities, he strives to use investigative techniques to work young starlet breasts into every aspect of rational discourse — focusing on the discourse, thus making it not perverted. Also, has recently begun a career as “Internet hairstylist.”

He can be contacted via email and Jabber IM at ‘jer@nyquil.org’. He likes to be contacted.

(All press inquiries, however, ought be directed towards the author’s agent, Alistair Hoel, via email to ahoel@nyquil.org.)


Winner* of Sean Gleeson’s Researcher of the Century Award.

*: I’ve technically only earned 5/6ths of the award, but maintain that I deserve the whole thing.

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