I was going through my backpack-turned-laptop-bag the other day, and found a few things leftover from the Vegas trip. Most importantly, I found my stack of callgirl cards. I was rifling through them on break at work when I discovered evidence of some sort of horrible deception.

Notice anything odd?

Both “Tami” and “Heather” are actually different croppings of the same photo!

I’m not sure what is afoot here, but someone is lying to me. Clearly they aren’t supposed to be the same woman, because they have different phone numbers and the hearts covering their naughty bits are different colors.

I wish I had noticed this while in Vegas — it might have been worth the $70 to schedule both Tami and Heather for the same time and see what happens. Regardless of the outcome, I bet it would have blown my mind.

Defined tags for this entry: callgirls, false advertising, Las Vegas, pornography, rants

On the last day I was in Vegas, I saw a sign that explained Vegas far, far more efficiently than I ever could.

That sign said “World’s Largest Gift Shop.”

I got to thinking about it, and only Disneyland comes close to the amount of crap for sale per building on the strip. At least the folks at Disney have the decency to dump you into a themed gift shop after you get to see the attraction, not before or instead-of like in Vegas.

Defined tags for this entry: Las Vegas, rants

One downside to collecting callgirl cards: whenever you pull out your wallet to pay for something, it is inevitably covered in pornography.

At least I know my secret is safe with them; I keep seeing billboards advertising the fact that whatever happens in Vegas does in fact stay in Vegas.

Thank goodness for that.

Defined tags for this entry: callgirls, Las Vegas, pornography, rants

I can never remember whether “The City That Never Sleeps” is Vegas or New York, but if it’s Vegas, I can understand where it gets that name. Every goddamn building on the strip is blaring pop music and advertisements incessantly, making it impossible to hold a conversation, let alone sleep.

I’m hoping that the hotel I’ve been waiting in line for 45 minutes just to check in to has sufficient sound dampening.

On the plus side, I got an awesome pair of crappy sunglasses for $0.99, had a really awesome breakfast at the Wynn (where we are unfortunately not staying), and have yet to actually get anything for free.

Defined tags for this entry: Las Vegas, rants, traveling