Looking through my PVR’s upcoming recordings, I noticed that The Knights of Prosperity has some episodes airing this week. I was planning on writing an impassioned plea to Leslie Nielson (and all of his extended family) to please watch them so that this fine show could have a chance to rise from cancellation, but that got me thinking.

Why should we continue allowing Leslie Nielson to dictate what shows we watch? The question seems strikingly similar to that of Electoral College voting—except, of course, that these votes don’t just impact silly stuff like politics; these votes affect TV for gosh sakes. As far as I know, the man only ever had one show, and it got canceled after only six episodes, so what gives him the right to determine what shows live and die?? (Of course it did spawn 33 and 1/3 movie spin-offs, but those hardly count as television.)

Let’s rise up from the shackles Frank Drebin has put upon us and take back television once and for all. Let’s unite to ensure that the Nielsons don’t just promote their selfish interests, rather let us choose our own shows based on merit. By calling and texting special numbers like our founding fathers intended.