The popularity of my recent reimagining of “Knight Rider,” combined with AT&T’s iPhone network problems has prompted me to share another TV idea while I would normally be reading blogs.

Imagine an ex-Army Major, dishonorably discharged over an issue he disagrees with, leaving him permanently disgruntled and with a
vendetta against authority.

Now imagine that his only career option is that of a private detective, where his crime-solving usually pits him against the police, the FBI and other such authorities. He is very abusive to his clients and the people he interrogates alike. He always manages to catch the culprit, but the motive he invents for the crime during his investigation usually hilariously revolves around some imagined military conspiracy that only he believes in, and doesn’t actually have any bearing on the crimes at all. He never fails to get the guy, but it always makes him think he’s getting closer to the “truth.”

The title is “Major Dick”.

Gotta go.

Defined tags for this entry: fiction, tv

A few words about KITT:

By now everyone knows there’s a new “Knightrider” series coming, and most know that they’ve picked a Ford Mustang to ‘play’ KITT.  Without getting too into detail, I think both of these ideas are terrible.  Generally I’m against any remake on principle, but I’m willing to take a peek at your remake provided enough of the things that need to stay the same are, in fact, the same, and enough of the things that need to be different are, in fact, different.

If someone held a gun to my head and said that I have to create a new “Knightrider,” as well as WATCH it when it’s done, here’s what I’d do:

• KITT would not be different.  In fact, I’d use one of the same ‘82 Trans-Ams.  I wouldn’t even wax it.
• KITT would not be waxed up because he’s been in storage for twenty years in a warehouse somewhere.
• KITT would not be terribly happy about having been left alone in storage.
• KITT would not be terribly SANE after having been left alone in storage.
• Young upstart new ‘driver’ for KITT is a young Shia LeBouf-type
• FLAG Industries has gone evil since KITT has been in storage, and has become a Blackwater-esque  mercenary outfit helping the dictatorship government oppress/scare the masses into compliance, while fighting against terrorist attacks. (Did I mention this was set in the modern day?)
• KITTs anger and craziness helps enable him to be used in attacks to bring down FLAG.
• David Hasselhoff reprises his role as Michael Knight, except that Knight is now President.  Evil President.  He is not seen very much, usually on television. (So as to allow Hasselhoff’s understandably busy touring schedule.)
• Shia LeBouf’s people are behind some of these so-called- terror attacks, and live largely off the grid so as to move about without dealing with the new inter-state travel cards all citizens must carry.  They drive armored muscle cars.  Running on biodiesel that they manufacture themselves.
• Because life under this new regime is so bad, the economy has faltered considerably, meaning that much of the roadways around the country has fallen under disrepair, leaving only major through-ways maintained enough for travel.  It is these roads that citizens use, presenting their ID cards so as to keep tabs on who is in what state at any given time.  Our heroes do not use these roads.
• There are other bands of less-civic-minded folk that just try to rob and pillage anyone daring enough to avoid the gov’t roads.  It is largely these people that our heroes concern themselves with from episode to episode;  the A story is generally surrounding our heroes’ efforts to help the little guy (like in the original show) while the B story often deals with the overall scheme of bringing down FLAG.  Sometimes these bad guys have ties to FLAG which bring us closer to bringing them down.
• KITT might actually be KARR, yet completely unaware of the fact.
  Defined tags for this entry: David Hasselhoff, fiction, KITT, Knightrider, Michael Knight, remakes, TV