I'm once again at the bar for lunch and just overheard a story on Fox News that I needed to share.
Apparently a dominatrix is being charged with manslaughter for waiting too long to call 911 when one of her slaves suffered some sort of heart condition and died during a "dominatrix session". The story was presented in a way that you could understand that she didn't really know he was having trouble, and that this sentence is going to be a painful lesson for someone who dishes out pain for a living.
The thing that amused me though was the end of the story, where the anchor said, "..she's also being charged with dismembering and hiding the man's body."
Uh, yeh. Seems like not calling 911 soon enough is the least of her troubles, and it will be a very painful lesson indeed..
A couple of days ago, I read a story that is equal parts sad and pathetic. I'll paste the relevant bits for you here, and you can click over for more detail if'n you want it.
Match.com, a unit of IAC/Interactive Corp. , is accused in a federal lawsuit of goading members into renewing their subscriptions through bogus romantic e-mails sent out by company employees. In some instances, the suit contends, people on the Match payroll even went on sham dates with subscribers as a marketing ploy.
"This is a grossly fraudulent practice that Match.com is engaged in," said H. Scott Leviant, a lawyer at Los Angeles law firm Arias, Ozzello & Gignac LLP, which brought the suit.
The Match lawsuit was filed earlier this month in U.S. District Court in Los Angeles by plaintiff Matthew Evans, who contends he went out with a woman he met through the site who turned out to be nothing more than "date bait" working for the company.
The relationship went nowhere, according to his suit. Evans says Match set up the date for him because it wanted to keep him from pulling the plug on his subscription and was hoping he'd tell other potential members about the attractive woman he met through the service, according to Leviant.
Leviant said his client found out about the alleged scam after the woman he dated confessed she was employed by Match.
At some jobs, you might draw the short straw and occasionally have to do some time in a chicken costume to entice in customers, or to wave signs on streetcorners to draw attention to the business you work for. If you thought that was bad, imagine having to go on dates with a bunch of losers to help keep your company afloat. I can't help but wonder if some of the women would actually sleep with men if it seemed as if they were going to cancel. How cool would that be? A dating service that hooks you up with a willing partner if you can't do it yourself.
The last couple days, this has been floating around the Associated Press:
WASHINGTON -- Four months after the end of World War II, five Navy bombers took off into sunny skies from Fort Lauderdale on a routine training mission, never to be seen again. Soon after, a rescue plane was sent to find them. It, too, vanished.
Now a new NBC News investigation marking the 60th anniversary of Flight 19's disappearance in the Bermuda Triangle is rekindling speculation on what happened that day. The anniversary also prompted a resolution in Congress by Rep. Clay Shaw, R-Fort Lauderdale, to commemorate the mission's 27 vanished pilots and crewmembers.
"Perhaps someday we will learn what happened and lay this mystery to rest," Shaw said Thursday, a day after the resolution passed the House 420-2.
The idea that the House passed a Bermuda Triangle resolution boggles my mind, and I've done much searching trying to uncover just what this resolution could possibly entail. I have had absolutely no luck, only finding the original AP article and press releases about both NBC and the SciFi Channel's Bermuda Triangle coverage. I'd really like to know the details of this resolution, and whether or not those 2 lone naysayers will be getting political backlash in the future.
Scary smoker guy voice-over: "Alistair Hoel (L-Wa) voted against the Bermuda Triangle resolution in 2005. He wants our military personnel to depart this plane of existence for a much more horrifying and mysterious one -- one that can only be reached by GETTING LOST IN THE BERMUDA TRIANGLE. Do you want our troops to face unknown horrors beyond the Triangle?"
I've mentioned before that I've been experimenting with listening to many different podcasts, and want to throw out a quick little update. I have now spurned radio in favor of downloadable audio completely. I was initially worried about filling up a 10 hour day with quality content, but have found that this has not been an issue at all. There is so much quality content out there, I don't have enough hours of the day to listen to it all.
I heard a really cool story the other day while listening to ABC Australia's fine program entitled The Science Show, and figured I'd share it in case anyone is interested. The story basically concerns "The Lancelot Code", which is kind of like The DaVinci Code, except for one major difference: The Lancelot Code is actually real and not a load of dingo's kidneys, handcrafted by a thief hack to stay at the top of a best seller list. Basically, the story contains the modern discovery of heretical mathematical concepts encoded into a King Arthur manuscript during The Crusades.
I've gone ahead and chopped down the show into one 16 minute segment that I highly recommend listening to, as it is both fascinating, and an example of why non-US radio is way better than US radio.
Today I listened to a really interesting episode (click to listen to mp3 archive) of NPR's Science Friday on the topic of the recent resurgence of leech use in medicine. Some plastic surgeons are using leeches during surgery to help stem the normal blood loss they have to deal with; drop in some leeches, no more blood sucky hose thingy. Awesome. Next time I need surgery, I am definitely requesting leeches.
One thing that I thought was really interesting: it seems as if leeches actually create morphine as part of the contents of their saliva. Part of what causes the numbing when then suck onto you is morphene being released from the leech. The really neat thing is tho, as the leech's saliva goes to work numbing the area it attaches to, the morphine somehow stimulates the cells of your skin and causes them to release a compound that stimulates vascular opening. More open vessels = more blood. So in essence, the chemistry of the leech reacts with the chemistry of whatever it is sucking on, allowing itself to get an even better meal -- and not bothering the host in the process. Awesome. Next time I need anesthesia, I am definitely requesting leeches.
One new treatment they are pioneering is in lessening the discomfort of arthritis. Apparently a once a month leech treatment can restore nearly full mobility to an arthritis inflicted knee. You get to have your blood sucked and get to walk home easily afterward. Awesome. Next time I need arthritis treatment, I am definitely requesting leeches.
I saw this yesterday, but forgot to mention it until just now.
A Planned Parenthood in Pennsylvania has come up with a really novel idea in an attempt to curb the problems they occasionally have which stem from overzealous protesters. The idea is essentially this: supporters of Planned Parenthood pledge to donate a certain number of cents for each protester that shows up each day. The more protesters that show, the more money in donations the clinic receives. They apparently have signage with stats on display, which allows all the protesters to see just how much money they are helping to raise.
While I don't personally believe abortion is right, I do believe that using intimidation -- whether it be physical, psychological or emotional -- to try to get someone to behave in a manner that you'd be more approving of is very wrong, so I think this is a really great idea. Planned Parenthood does much good non-abortion related work that I think even detractors would be hard-pressed to disagree with; this additional funding will certainly help support those things.
My message to all the protesters: "Bring your friends!"
Then there was the controversial bulge under Gerge W. Bush's jacket during the debate.
Earlier this summer, there was much commenting online (which I was unable to locate at press time) regarding the size of the bulge in Mr. Fantastic's costume in the most recent version of The Fantastic Four.
I can't even begin to comprehend that situation, its like something out of the book of Job.
"Lord, haven't you done enough? My neighbors are gone, my house is destroyed, the water is rising. All I have left is this light pole to which I cling. I'm not sure how long I can hold on, I can't take anymore."
"NOT YET, MY SON. NOW COMES THE FIRE ANTS..."
*gotta love the url which loads that article: http://www.cnn.com/2005/WEATHER/08/28/katrina.doomsday/
It was announced yesterday that the President of Turkmenistan has placed a ban on all forms of recorded music to help protect the musical culture which once dominated life in Turkmenistan. It seems that this is targeted specifically to prevent lip-syncing, a practice which is used by nearly every performer here in the United States to improve both the sound quality and value of nearly $100 (USD) concert ticket prices. In a televised announcement, President Saparmurat Niyazov explained, "Unfortunately, one can see on television old voiceless singers lip-synching their old songs. Don't kill talents by using lip-synching... create our new culture."
The latest attack on the encroaching western cultural influence follows other bans enacted in 2001 on such MTV-influenced fashions as long hair, gold and platinum plated teeth, intricate facial hair and the "Pimping" of rides with such esoteric electronic devices as radios and compact disc players.
These bannings affect more than just the "hip" non-traditional elements one might associate with an impressionable youth, however. President Niyazov has also banned opera and ballet, claiming that they are "unnecessary", and has done away with that ever-present bane to traditional culture -- hospitals.
Like the USA's George W. Bush, President Niyazov feels that it is his responsibility to maintain the religious and cultural ideals held by many of the citizens of the country he is ruling, to lead the nation into a "Golden Age" unhindered by the attempts to unhinge it by the liberal left. All the existing bans -- and presumably all future bans as well -- combine in a valiant effort to hold on to the ideals he feels should be important to every Turkmenistani citizen.
Yesterdays ban of prerecorded music is the first ban put into place by President Saparmurat Niyazov since 2003's horrific shuttle disaster, which ended the lives of seven astronauts over the skies of Texas as the shuttle disintegrated due to faulty heat tiles.
The space shuttles return to Cape Canaveral happened entirely without incident, much to the dismay of media outlets everywhere. How on Earth* are they going to make the news more exciting? Faithful readers have probably already guessed:
CAPE CANAVERAL (Reuters) - The space shuttle Discovery completed a cross-country ride atop a jumbo jet and returned to Florida on Sunday, nearly two weeks after finishing NASA's first mission since the 2003 Columbia accident.
Falling foam doomed Columbia when a briefcase-sized chunk knocked a hole in its wing at launch. During Columbia's reentry in February 2003 into the Earth's atmosphere, superheated atmospheric gases tore into the gap.
Columbia then broke apart over Texas, killing all seven astronauts on board.
I look forward to future articles about the 2003 shuttle disaster cleverly disguised as updates about the current shuttle.
Yup, a terrible pun. Cuz see, it's the space shuttle, and it isn't currently in space...
It has been nearly two weeks since the shuttle experienced a perfect landing with absolutely no problems whatsoever, but still every time there is anything remotely space shuttle related, we hear about the disaster that didn't happen this time:
MIAMI (Reuters) - The return of the space shuttle Discovery to its home port in Florida, riding piggyback on a modified Boeing 747 jumbo jet, was delayed on Saturday because of potentially bad weather along its route, NASA said.
Discovery had landed at Edwards Air Force base in California on August 9, completing NASA's first shuttle mission since its sister ship Columbia fell apart over Texas in February 2003.
So the space shuttle landed today without incident. This makes me happy for several reasons: firstly, I'm glad that the crew is safe and everything went OK. Secondly, I'm glad the media can stop using any new development as an excuse to mention prior death and destruction.
Here's a timeline summary of news reports to help illustrate what I'm talking about:
Space shuttle to return to International Space Station, first launch since fiery exploding death accident 2 years ago.
Space shuttle successfully launched, no fiery death death explosion like the one 2 years ago so far.
Space shuttle soon to return to earth, first re-entry since the last one exploded, killing the parents of 20 children in a fiery death ball.
Space shuttle's return postponed due to weather, no risk of flaming debris injuring civillians today.
Space shuttle's re-entry window moved from Florida to California, hopefully there won't be a repeat of 2003's flaming body part carnage.
Space shuttle lands successfully for first time since the second deadly shuttle accident since the Challenger exploded in 1986.
Space shuttle to taxi down runway, hopefully to avoid the first ever runway explosion -- which is likely after 2003's fiery shrapnel blast explosion destructing massacre.
We all know Columbia exploded, so stop fucking bringing it up at every possible chance.