A coworker asked me the other day if the film I’ve been calling “Will Smiff Is Legend” is based on something else.  I explained that it was a book, which then spawned two different movie adaptations:  “The Last Man on Earth” and “The Omega Man.”  This new version has an interesting pedigree, in that it was once going to be an Arnold Schwarzeneggar remake of “The Omega Man” until that fell through, and ALSO once an “I Am Legend” until THAT fell through as well.  Then they got some of the people involved with both to kind of work together on this final version incorporating the good bits from each. 

I’m not quite sure what to make of “Will Smiff Is Legend.”  On the one hand, all the shots I’ve seen of it look fantastic and I know Will is a great actor who — provided the script calls for it — will be able to pull off the ‘grizzled, lonely, and angry’ that encompasses the story.  On the other hand, though, I keep picturing him with a sideways gun saying “aww HELL no” while bustin’ caps into zompires from his motorcycle in slow motion.  Call me equal parts excited and reluctant.  (Also, is it even going to HAVE zompires?  Remember in Jonathan Coulton’s fantastic song RE: Your Brains, how the guy’s zombified coworkers try to plead with him to come out because all they want to do is eat him?  That’s straight out of “I Am Legend,” except the zombies in question were kind of a halfway-point between zombie and vampire;  they rise from the grave and eat brains, but can be staked through the heart to kill them.  Plus they’re smart.)

On the subject of prior film adaptations, I highly, HIGHLY recommend the 1964 Vincent Price version entitled “The Last Man on Earth.”  It’s a truly great film that I think does a good job of capturing the mood of the book while adding a few new things as well.  The new ending they came up with is probably one of my favorite endings of all time, which leads me to believe “Will Smiff Is Legend” will not use it ;)  On the plus side, the film is now in the Public Domain, meaning you can download it off the internet with impunity.  If instantaneous blocky streaming flash video is your thing it can be found here on Google Video. If nicer quality — and therefore a longer, more complicated download process — is more your thing, it can be found here on The Pirate Bay without any fear of legal repercussions because this film was allowed to fall out of copyright like copyright law intended.  Yay for properly functioning copyright law.

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VERY much enjoyed Frank Darabont’s adaptation of Stephen King’s “The Mist.”  That story has been my favorite of King’s since I first read it at like 12y/o or so, and I always longed for it to be a movie — but not a crappy movie like they always make out of Stephen King stories.  I was mightily worried that I was going to be disappointed, but needn’t have been, for it was AWESOME. Everything looked just like it did in my 12y/o old brain, and I felt almost exactly the same as I did upon first reading it.  Frank Darabont for the win! 

I think that story really nails what society is all about, and I fear that it perhaps warped my fragile little mind upon my first reading.  People really do form little power hierarchies, willfully giving up power to others when it’s too scary not to. At the first hint of crazy, people are willing to overlook a WHOLE LOT of crazy in the people to whom they decide to give power, and don’t even seem to realize it.  Sure, stuff in the titular mist IS scary, but the really frightening things in the story are the ones the people do. Because their leader tells them to. Scary because it’s TRUE.

Film gets bonus points for Dark Tower inclusion, a nice reference to John Carpenter’s “The Thing,” some thought-evoking Jesus symbolism, leaving out the only thing that really made me feel skeevy in the story, and lastly: for including something new that skeeved me the crap right out, yet played right into the underlying theme of humanity’s fatal flaws.  Best non-Shawshank Stephen King movie ever.  I have a lot more to say on the subject of this film, but I’m going to wait for a while so as not to spoil anything for anyone who wants to see it.

VERY much disappointed by the wonderfully titled “Flight of the Living Dead.”  The only thing good about it is the title.  I’d much appreciate it if things would stop happening “on a Plane” now.  Thanks.

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Just got home from Resident Evil: Extinction.

I don’t have a lot to say, other than: “a bit suckier than Resident Evil, but nowhere near as sucky as Resident Evil: Apocalypse.”

Bonus points for creatively using Marylin Manson’s theme from the first one in a multitude of different versions throughout this one. I liked that a lot.

It’s amazing to me how everyone who survives apocalypses of a global magnitude always has such perfect skin and teeth and are all hot as hell. I guess those of us with inferior genes are more susceptible to being left to die. I guess it’s time to start compensating for that by stockpiling shotguns and ammunition.

Oh! I keep forgetting to mention this: Those of you in the greater Portland, OR metro area may be interested to know that the second annual Zompire film festival is this Friday and Saturday. Zompire is a film festival celebrating the undead, whether they be brainmunchers or blood suckers.

Last year was a hoot, so I highly recommend going, especially since this year seems to be almost entirely focused on the shorts. Saturday night does feature the classic “Coreys” film Lost Boys to satisfy those of you jonesing to see Kiefer Southerland on the big screen once again, so you shouldn’t miss that.

Here’s this years schedule of films, containing many awesome-seeming shorts.

i spent the last 3 days in bed unable to type, play with my wii, play with my wee, hold a book, play with my clay, play with my rubik cube or aything else remotely interesting. what i could do is weatch bad movies i recoreded off cable and sped up so i didnt have to suffer as llong. thank goodness i had the foresight to think thsat one day i’d need copious amounts of stuff to watch.

war of the worlds – terrible. tom cruise was really good though; i really believed he was a scumball. what a testament to acting abiliyt.

daisy dukes of hazzard – fantastic. i’ts almost as if those boots were /made/ for walkin’. the rest of the movie really sucked, though.

16 blocks – this was actually a really good movie. i didnt laugh, but i did cry. and not just cuz my arm hurts. mos def is ‘mos def’inately good in it. winky face.

dead men walking – zombies in prisn seems really good on paper. on the scifi channel, howeverm, not so good. please stop naming characters in zombie movies ‘raimi.’

the chumscrubber – fantastic. fidfteen stars. kind of like donnie darko and jawbreaker and thumbsucker all mixed into one. bonus; the kid from thumbsucker is in this, making his imdb page just that much more interesting in the strangelt titled moive department. kinda depressing and uplifting ast the same time, plus mind-bendy.

earthstorm – space mission to the moon to keep it from splitting in half. midway though the voyage, stewphen baldwin unhooks his seatbelt and runs to the cargo bay, completely oblivious to the fact that therer shoulnd’t be any gravity. also he gets over thje loss of his 3years dead wife.

i know i watched a few more, i just cant remember what they wree.

i have refrained from saying ‘one thumb up’ or ‘one thumb down’ for your benefit, as you know that’s all i can do. thyumb number 2 is off-limits.